here and everywhere

For the past 3 months, I've been doing some soul-searching. Contemplating about life, questioning myself about God, people, and me. Mainly, I've been thinking about what to study. What I want to do for the rest of my life.

Today's the last day of Feb, and I am still clueless. In this short time I've considered soooo many things. Audio engineering, law, business, veterinary.. Just shows how confused I am about life.

Then of course there's pressure coming from people. Saying that I shouldn't waste time, that I would be left out by the rest if I wait it out. And to be completely honest, these kind of people make me want to punch their face in.

But I digress.

So this is an update on my life. I am very much still clueless about what's next.

lol what's college man..

~

Lifehouse - Broken

"Mercy donned a crown of thorns."

So last night the worship team had their first meeting of the year. And wow.

It. Was. Awesome.

Nothing is as refreshing and fulfilling as worshiping in His presence. And last night was a prime example of just being overwhelmed by His Spirit. I have never cried so many times in 2 hours lol.
Heck, I didn't even have any reason to cry! It was just that His presence was just so....overwhelming.

Man, I love this team. So, so much.

~

Elevation - Grace So Glorious

Leaders..

I've had my fill of disappointments in leaders. To think back would only make me more bitter than I already am.

Isn't it true to say that when a leader falls, his followers fall harder? I've experienced it. And because of that, I don't want anyone else to go through the same thing.

Which makes me fearful, which in turn makes me live a lie.

Too much? Maybe, not.

Sigh. That's enough blogging for now.

~

This Will Destroy You - Quiet

systematic chaos

So I was folding my clothes (momma i hope you're proud) and rearranging some personal stuff, and it struck me that I love things to be in an orderly way. I like things to be structured, to be arranged nicely. But then I look around at my desk, my bed..and it's anything but that. It seems that I like things messy, and orderly at the same time..

What does this leave me? Confused.

Go ye therefore.

Awake, sleeper! It's a new day, a new dawn. A new opportunity. To move, to breathe, to do. To bend, to break. To make mistakes, to learn. And to look back, and laugh.

Let's go, let's go!

Before sunset beckons, before our time is gone. This may be our one last shot, our final voyage. One full of tears, scars and blood. 

But we'll make this one hell of a journey.

So no more waiting. 

We have here, and we have now.

Let's do this.

~

Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait


Matthew 28:19

~

Someday I will leave.

Yes, I will leave and wander elsewhere.

Just, disappear.

And someday I will return.

Return to the faces, the sights, the sounds.

Poignant memories.

And leave, again.

Someday.

~

Coldplay - Violet Hill

second child syndrome

http://blankcanvassesandblankpages.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-am-tired-of-coming-up-with-titles.html

"...trying to be the most diplomatic one in the house. always trying to please. always trying to not offend. always tyring to make sure that there'd never be a slack anywhere. he grows up indecisive and always second-guesses himself."

Oh boy can I relate.

~

Switchfoot - Restless

Our faith came as easy as breathing..

I miss being a child. So much.

I miss having no responsibilities in life. When my only concern was what I'd be having for dinner (still concerned about this mind you). Everything is simpler when you're a child. Football, maths, you name it. Everything seemed direct. No need for complications.

I remember in primary, how we had our own little games before assembly. From throwing pencil cases from one floor to the other, to playing stupid card games. Ahh good times..

There's something about kids. How they're just so happy with life. So innocent, so vulnerable. And I love how kids forgive, and forget. They just sleep it off. We should learn from them.

Dang. I really do miss being a kid.

~

Elenowen - We Were Better Off

and I'm found, in the aftermath

And here I am, found in the aftermath of the storm.

Soaking. Wet.

Drenched in glorious splendor. Of mother nature. Of God.

Have I mentioned that I love rain?

Cause I love rain.

~

Elenowen - Run



Continuation.

my dearest friend

I close my eyes and let the rain consume me.

My 3 senses rule.

The strange, yet familiar smell of the rain.

The feel of the raindrops greeting my skin.

The haunting sound of the pitter-patter of the raindrops crashing into puddles.

And in here I find solace. I find comfort.

I've got to find shelter now, else I would fall sick. Till we meet again, rain.

Rain, my dearest friend.

~

Able - Fall Into You





Continuation from this.

*insert title*

I mentioned before that I haven't been writing with much honesty. That I write not as I truly am. Not as I truly feel. Not as I truly want to..

It's hard to be honest. Especially here.

But from now on I will try. My new year's resolution. How about that.

dirty second hands

We say love, love, love. And we say it with a bullet.

Point our fingers to each other.

But we are the culprits.

Hypocrites, hypocrites.

~

Switchfoot - Dirty Second Hands