harbor

i wish i didn't have a heart. life would be so much easier that way. no need to deal with feelings and emotions, affections and attachments. loving Him would be so much easier. because my heart is such a fool. because my heart strays from the course and falls for pretty things and ideas and people, and it only ends with me getting hurt. and it's stupid how much it hurts. pathetic.

i am restricted by my affections.

then again, what would life be like without the heart? is a relationship with Father even possible without a heart? because out of the heart is birthed mercy that overrules judgement. faith that overthrows reason. hope that steadies the soul. love that covers all wrongs.

but let the King of my heart be the anchor in the storm, the mountain where i run, the shadow where i hide. Father, you are my song.

grazie

"Avoid those who seek friends in order to maintain a certain social status or to open doors they would not otherwise be able to approach.

Stay close to those who are interested in opening only one important door: the one to your heart. They will never invade your soul without your consent or shoot a deadly arrow through that open door.

Friendship is like a river; it flows around rocks, adapts itself to valleys and mountains, occasionally turns into a pool until the hollow in the ground is full and it can continue on its way. Just as the river never forgets that its goal is the sea, so friendship never forgets that its only reason for existence is to love other people."

— Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra

~

here's to genuine friends who care about others more than themselves. even if it were only for a season, i'm grateful to be able to journey with you.

aeipathy

have you ever liked someone? of course you have.

do you know the way their presence somehow makes everything seem brighter? i bet you do. you just feel happier they're around, don't you? their joy infectiously becomes your joy as well, and the insignificant things become so much more meaningful when it's shared with them.

yet there are times when they destroy you, albeit unintentionally. like when they choose to sit with someone else for a meal. or even through the little things. like forgetting to say goodbye, or not keeping contact for a while. even the act of saying goodbye could break your heart, simply because you don't ever want to.

it's quite amazing how one person could bring so much joy yet so much pain at the same time.

and maybe that's how our Father feels about us most of the time?

mindset, heartset

"Intense focus restricts what you're willing and able to see. And while this approach will keep you from seeing many things, it will also open your eyes to see more of what you hunger for.

Self-control is not the ability to say no to a thousand other voices. It's the ability to say yes to the one thing so completely that there's nothing left to give to the other options."

— Bill Johnson, Hosting the Presence