authorship

if only i could rewrite the pages of the last few chapters.

but the book of life is written in ink and not in lead. there is no eraser to undo my mess, no correction fluid to cover up my faults.

mistakes made can be redeemed but not undone.

and still, life goes on.

for an optimist, i'm pretty pessimistic

picking up the shards and, amazingly, it looks as if it can all be pieced together again.

but how long before everything falls apart once more?

i'm not used to being happy so this feels like another delusion.

rant

what's the point of trying to create in the youths a sense of belonging to a church when they don't even have a sense of belonging to the Father? 

when they don't even identify as sons and daughters of God?

are we aiming to create members of a social club who excel at organizing and participating in events, or sons and daughters who would love the Lord with their lives even unto death?

not saying it's wrong, but one comes first before the other.

and i think it's obvious which one.

ramble

to be honest, i love comfort. who doesn't? don't bullshit me by saying that the hustle and the work makes things more worthwhile.

if you could have the same joys without the pain, why would you choose to throw pain in the mix?

to take things for granted is a privilege.

laying down our comfort has been made to sound such a noble and easy thing to do, but until we come to the point of actually giving it up do we realize how heavy a price to pay it actually is.

if it was easy, it's probably not that noble.

i love comfort, because i'm selfish. so crucify me. aren't we all selfish?

growth? i wish growth was overrated.

i wish.