heart-breaking beauty

Have you ever encountered something so beautiful, that it breaks your heart?

It could be a gorgeous woman, or an intricate piece of art. Maybe even a timid child, or a heartfelt song. Something so mesmerizing, that draws your attention from a glance to a gaze. It's more than just beauty per se. It's something that is precious.

Something so breathtakingly fragile, that makes you want to cry out for people to leave it be, simply because it's perfect the way it is. So much so, that you cannot even stand the thought of it being broken, or blemished, or corrupted. Except it will.

She will, despite your best efforts.

So you resign yourself to the fact of the matter, and let life run its course. You watch, helplessly, as the world slowly breaks her down, taking away her innocence and livelihood, vertebra by vertebra. Then deep inside somewhere you feel a rupturing sensation. Your heart being crushed.

And voilà! Heart-breaking beauty.

patience

Patience and Love agreed to meet at a set time and place; beneath the twenty-third tree in the olive orchard. Patience arrived promptly and waited. She checked her watch every so often but still, there was no sign of Love.

Was it the twenty-third tree or the fifty-sixth? She wondered and decided to check, just in case. As she made her way over to the fifty-sixth tree, Love arrived at twenty-three, where Patience was noticeably absent.

Love waited and waited before deciding he must have the wrong tree and perhaps it was another where they were supposed to meet.

Meanwhile, Patience had arrived at the fifty-sixth tree, where Love was still nowhere to be seen. 

Both begin to drift aimlessly around the olive orchard, almost meeting but never do.

Finally, Patience, who was feeling lost and resigned, found herself beneath the same tree where she began. She stood there for barely a minute when there was a tap on her shoulder.

It was Love.

"Where are you?" She asked. "I have been searching all my life."

"Stop looking for me," Love replied, "and I will find you."

— Lang Leav, Lullabies

Through Your Eyes

God speaks to me through different ways, and one of those ways, is through songs. I'm gonna start this random series of posts where I share songs that I feel walked me through certain stages of my life, and some, still. For lack of a better thing to do perhaps, but these songs are close to my heart. Songs that I sing by myself whenever I need it. It's an ever growing list.

The first song to kick-start this list is Jenny and Tyler's Through Your Eyes.

We all go through seasons. Seasons of being in the wilderness, and of attaining the promise. Seasons of dry spells, and overflowing rivers. Of sowing, and reaping. This song speaks to me when I find myself in the desert; wandering, lost, and just barren.

When all that's around me reek of me being a failure — the blank pages, abandoned guitars. When I find my own thoughts creaking in, telling me how I'm worthless and wasting my time. When I fail Him, giving into temptation and falling into sin. There are days that "he" wins; defeating my courage, wearing me down. 

And he whispers ever so gently, 'No one else has to know about this.' 'Keep your walls up.' 'People don't really care.' 'You don't matter.'

I know these words are wrong, but I still believe these lies.

The line at the end: “I want to see myself through Your eyes,” is a desperate cry to see myself as the Lord sees me. Not what my parents see, not what my pastor sees, not what my peers see, not even what I see. But what He sees in me. 

I hope that this song may be of use to you, as it has been, and still is, to me.

Here's the story behind the song: https://jennyandtyler.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/through-your-eyes-story-behind-the-song/

highway to hell

Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one — the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

— C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

an adieu

that's another chapter done and dusted for you. how time flies huh? you begin your next chapter in a few days time, as i'm still in the midst of finishing mine.

perhaps this is some divine intervention to remind me that you are miles ahead of me. that you are beyond my reach, and that i need to stop clinging on to your shadow.

and now, maybe all you will be is just a part of my past.

but for what it's worth, these pages and memories that i have of you will always be cherished. i only hope that my name has as much significance in the past chapters of your life, as yours did in mine.

so i bid you fare well with your new chapter, and the ones to come. keep on writing, and write well.

i'll keep writing too.

bond

'But it does not seem that I can trust anyone.'

'It all depends on what you want. You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin — to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours — closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. 

'We are your friends, Frodo. We are horribly afraid — but we are coming with you; or following you like hounds.'

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring