groping through the fog

Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived. He rigged the world in such a way that it only works when we embrace risk as the theme of our lives, which is to say, 

only when we live by faith.

~

lacuna

Another day, but it's nothing but another sunrise to you. 

You want to live — to truly live — but your struggles are crippling. You claw your chest open, and tear your heart out. You hold it aloft; your heart, what was once your treasure. Faintly beating; alive yet dead. 

Embrace your demons with ferocity. Fight anger with fury. Rebel against the devil, take him by the horns. Bend. Break. Free.

Bone by bone. Break everything you once were, and begin again. Search, again. Chase, again. Discover, again. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll find yourself living again. 

~

scribblings on a dreamer's tombstone

I hope that someday you will remember me. Not as dead and gone, but as one who lived his dreams.

wild at heart

I've just finished reading John Eldredge's Wild at Heart for the second time. Finished it in 2 days heh kasi bangga sikit. But wow, I am astounded. The book touches on masculinity; masculinity in its truest sense. And this book, as a friend said, 'blew apart my perspective on godly masculinity and our original purpose'. 

I've never had so many revelations from a single book before. Such an eye-opener, and reading it the second time, I realized I missed some mind-blowing stuff. I especially loved this quote from him: 'Morality is a good thing, but morality is never the point.' There will come a time in a man's life when he has to take control of his masculinity, his strength and aggression. 

One more quote — I promise this will be the last, pinky promise. 

'Walk into most churches, have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are . . . bored.'

So. True. Lacking passion. Fire. Masculinity.

I won't say much more about Wild at Heart, but the one thing I will say, is that every man — both young and old — needs to read this. Once, twice, probably several times.

ps: I will be posting several quotes from the book on here. It might get annoying, especially if you're a girl :P but I need this sort of like a reminder to myself. Cause yes, I reread my old posts from time to time. Judge me all you want..

pur/su/it

i told her to follow her heart.

i told her to chase after everything she's wanted to do ever since she was a little girl. be it big dreams, or tiny memoirs; go and do it. and off she went. she never returned.

[ differ ]

i told him to follow his heart.

i told him how he's come so far for a reason. i told him how i looked up to him so much, as an artist, a creator. i told him not to waste it all. but he went and did anyway. he never returned.

for the sake of a better li(f)e

the question remains: why am i in college?

the answer: a resounding idonthaveabloodyclue

the choppy waves, they suffocate me

"Remember, that God will always love you. Even if you were the only person on Earth, 

Jesus would still die for you."

~

i hold on to You

wandering, waning

For the past few days, I've been feeling, disturbingly, empty. It's been a long time since I've felt this way. I can't quite put a finger to it. Empty, is really the only word that describes it aptly. I know I'll get over it, sure enough, but this feeling sucks so bad. I genuinely feel that my heart is empty. That all it is, is an organ that's keeping me alive. That all I'm here for, is to take in oxygen and exhale you-know-what. That my existence is merely to complete some sort of cycle of life. I just feel..weird? I pick up the guitar, play a bit, and just feel like shit. Resentful. What's going on? My God, what's going on??

hunger

We want soft and pleasant words when the bitter is what's necessary for cleansing us from impurities. That is why Solomon said, 'But to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet'. 

~

Hmm. Puts things into perspective.

equipoise

I live in a world where the mornings are always sunny, and the evenings, rainy. Where the mornings are always bright and full of hope, and the evenings are dull and quiet. A world where people begin the day full of energy and excitement, and end the day in quiet contemplation.

petrichor

she tells me she wants to be a raindrop. that she doesn't mind falling, as long as she's not alone. and raindrops are never alone.

for hannah

All that I want to say, has already been said. At least I hope you're reading this after you've read my letter. :) A quote for you, dear pig:

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

See you soon! Godspeed.

la batalla

A man is not wounded once, but many, many times in the course of his life. Nearly every blow ends up falling in the same place: against his strength. Life takes it away, one vertebra at a time, until in the end he has no spine at all.

~

Daphne Loves Derby, Tennis Court Soundtrack

cling

A person who fears God is one who will obey even in rough times when there is no tangible presence of God to encourage.

~

how can I lead a group of people without You leading me? can You please, please speak to me? You feel so distant, and i'm confused. i need You so desperately now.. please..

abstruse

Perhaps a memory is all you'll be. And us, only a fantasy.

vertigo

We thought that becoming a Christian would somehow end our troubles, or at least reduce them considerably. No one ever told us we were being moved to the front lines, and we seem genuinely shocked at the fact that we've been shot at.

~

*slightly edited

Heck, I would rather be a tattooed-all-over smoker than a hypocrite.

far we've progressed, further we venture

Nothing comes close. Normalcy is pathetic. Routine is rubbish. You always want more. You reach the moon, and you want to stay there, remove the oxygen mask, and die among the stars.

monolith